YR1273 A Hambone Kind o Crimmy

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2015 
Crimmus Eve Grum: A Hambone Christmas!
It’s the most wonderful grum of the year! And it opens with a special rememberance in the form of a clip from the Diane Rehm Show… on infinite repeat. Santa, I want earplugs for Crimes!

Show Notes:

Our first Christmase Eve surprise is a big revelation. Debra shows herself on cam! We finally get to see the true Debra Wilkerson. But me thinks she’s had a little snip-snip… or maybe a lotta snip-snips.
The festive mood continues as the madams of mahem share a video of a christian lady full of the holiday spirit… and a bit of racism. Okay, a lot of racism, and anger, toward Middle Eastern Brazillians.
The spirit of of giving continues as our favorite ladies share a new video from our old favorite, Simply Sara as she prepares pfeffernusse for holiday gorging. Dust clouds to tace! Never getting enough of this lady with a HUGE heart for food, Madge queues up another episode. This time, Sara prepares a lasagna for our pleasure.
Madge decides to plump up the show with more crimmus spirit by playing an old heart warming favorite, 12 Days of Crimmus by Cheryl Merkowski followed by the memorable Prolapse Prolapse Prolapse.
Memorable Quotes:
You should put your balls an inch apart.
No, I heard you actually eating!
’Cause you’re a fat pig.
Fiiiiive golden teeth.
I would like Debra to masturbate for Edith. Vooft!
Madge shares a portion of a politically themed erotic audio book called Casino In the Kremlin (find on Amazon.com) to mixed reactions from the live grum chat. The Donald who has assumed the Presidency, lands in Moscow to meet with his lusty Russian counterpart, Putin.
Anita (Heather) calls a pregnancy hotline after a bad reaction when she told her family she’s with child at the family holiday get-together. Gasps of shock can be heard when Cheryl, Anita’s sister, reveals the family’s plan to get rid of the problem.
Debbie decides to catch up with Stacy and their shared soap stories. Brace your neck for a tennis match of back and forth one-uppers. Debra feels sorry for Stacy’s run of bad luck so she prepares a few holiday treats for her.
More Memorable Quotes:
You should have listened to mom!
It’s gonna be an African baby.
Hambone, hambone Tryin’ to eat. Ketchup on his elbow. Pickle on his feet.
I gotta pan and I gotta plan, honey.
Leave the Jew in the office and let him think about Kwanza.
When I cry, my nipples get hard.
Dog’s don’t have souls.
What was that? A Dildo?
When you die, honey, you get married to Jesus.
Back to the heart enlarging… umm heart warming kitchen of Simply Sara and her heepy tablespoons of chicken soup but the recipe is paused for a call to one of Heather’s many, many man-pets. She finds a true connection with him through their shared love for The Donald and 32 Ds. Cheryl pops on for a bit of sisterly love on this special holiday. Don’t forget your pets this holiday season! They need love and affection, too.
This very special Crimmus episode winds down with a new Sara parody by our very own Matt Peters, a quick call to the very same, and a count down of the night’s special Crimmus donations to the gurlz. Don’t miss a crumb of this episode or Santa will stuff you with his cookies and milk… from both ends!