On location from Whole Foods: The TURD Republicunt Debate
Tonight’s special episode opens a bit late with a few technical difficulties as Debra, who is on site at the Whole Food Republicunt Debate, tries to get her mic working and Madge tries to find a source for the audience. Debbie tries to fill the time with an attempt to interview a bystander which ends in silent failure.
The girls get into full commentary swing as Ted Cruz calls out all the other candidates like a full on reading on Rupaul’s Drag Race. The trio of the governed try their best to follow every word, but they lose focus occasionally. The conversation often sways to topics such as Simply Sarah, girdles, hospital bills and investments.
A break in the debate finds Madge writing a letter and Debra sneaking away to purchase a bit of pizza and ice cream to energize her for the short remainder of the show.
They’re not even lined up from short to tallest.
Why are you so fuckin’ ugly?
She couldn’t get a job at Best Buy!
Why is he talking about fucking donuts!?!
How do you know who these people are? I haven’t seen them.
Who is Sallie Mae? She’s a cunt.
I’d sit on his face. I mean, yeah. Why not?
I put my chocken down on the spacebar and stopped the recording.
Cheryl has an abortion scrapbook.
Barf on my tits.
Yet another ad break in the debate has the girls discussing chest-shitting and painful vaginas but it quickly gets back on point.
As the debate comes to a close, Debra and her mobile crew are pushed out of the closing Whole Foods and rush to make the last showing of Goosebumps off Broadway. On the way, she talks Madge into playing a video from a concerned trans activist citizen reporter who’s rights are continually trampled on by those in power bottom.
Don’t miss a smidgen of tonight’s special debate coverage or you put yourself and the country in peril by making the wrong choice. Who are we kidding? There is no right choice from tonight’s debate… Except Weinstein/Merkowski 2016! republicunt