Today on MTWG, we watch an old movie starring Mrs. Gee and some GARLZ.
Movies with The Girls opens tonight with a random assortment of conversational topics that culminate in the trio of travesty arguing about what movie to premiere for the audience.
Against Cheryl’s adamant protests, they finally land on Brainiac because it’s a short movie so Cheryl can leave early. Unfortunately, they discover it’s not even in English! A bit more back and forth has the girls winding up on Youtube with the movie The Worst Witch.
Debra has a Facts Of Life molestation flashback when Edna Garrett (Charlotte Rae) appears on the screen.
Now the movie is playing so we can ignore it.
They’re making Meth.
Look! There’s a penis behind her.
Did Mrs. Garrett forget to go to acting school?
Oh my god that thang’s big. It looks like a donkey.
As usual, the movie takes a back seat as Debra desperately tries to get everyone interested, Cheryl tries to get the movie to end so she can leave and Madge makes fun of Mrs. Garrett. The girls muse about what it would be like to fly on broomsticks. Sadly, the trio would probably crash to their knees faster than Cheryl at Fleet Week.
Hillary Clinton makes an appearance during a lull in the movie to laugh at the GOP’s questioning about her personal time. Debra laments about how they gang-banged her.
More Memorable Quotes:
It looks like a pussy.
Does Mrs. Garrett only do school for girls shows?
Ain’t nothin’ open after 12 o’clock ‘cept legs.
I’d kill her before I kill myself.
We aren’t on drugs and that’s the pathetic part.
Madge chooses to infuse another lull in the movie with a clip from a poignant, heated documentary about obesity in the work place but Debra will have none of it. She override’s Madge’s video with a call to Kroger then a call to a pregnancy help line. Sadly, neither call gets very far. Another attempt gets through to a Kroger representative. The girls need to know their credit limit so they can stock up for the holidays, but the rep isn’t very helpful.
Debra can’t afford her baby’s formula after her initial plan of breast feeding fell through because of the accident. She calls a pregnancy center help line for advice. Kayla gets an earful as Debra vents about Cheryl’s lack of support and cooperation. Wasn’t there a movie involved in this grum somehow?
Hillary gets on Cheryl’s last nerve so the girls decide to change it up by calling a 24/7 christian restaurant. Debra wants to watch the hearings while eating chicken fried… anything but they don’t have a television. Cheryl calls back to talk with other Cheryl and place an order of pudding and steak, but Phil interrupts with a special question for Cheryl the waitress. What cup size do you serve?
Heather gets her panties in a wad after a rude interaction with a waiter so Madge tries to calm her down with an injection of the Angelic Initiative. Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect on Cheryl who insists on checking out what’s new with Simply Sarah. They all compromise by calling for information on Dump Meals by mail.
The grum winds down with threesome discussing Debra’s discovery of a kid’s chat listed right next to the adult chats that she frequents. If your trick gives you tea and leaves to change the laundry, just go ahead and take a seat right over there. Madge announces breaking news from Dollar Tree and the girls make a couple more final call attempts which go hilariously wrong.
The night’s donations are coming up a bit short so Debra resolves to take one for the team by making a little money on the side. A call to a hotel has the girls looking for an acceptable working-girl rate.
Don’t skip a second of tonight’s side-splitting, witty episode or the girls will take turns imparting their own special steaming hot, savory dump meals to you… right on your chest.