It’s a night of laughs and love as The Trinity of Fodmap Tastelessness opens with a beautiful melody celebrating the pleasantly plump while, once again, Debra leaves the audience waiting while she fulfills one of her many vices that suddenly needs attention just as the grum begins.
Madge moves quickly into a celebration of corpulent culinary delight in the form of Simply Sara which was lovingly snipped together by our very own Debra Wilkerson. Then the girls of gentility decide they need to relax in a bit of yoga with The Angelic Initiative. That’s true! Madge must be hungry as she peruses a plethora of fast food based videos but she pulls a Leo LaPorte when showing her desktop. Tune in LIVE next Sunday. You never know what you might miss.
One of our lucky listeners wins $3m! He keeps his cool and thinks to record the call. He shares it with the girls. Listen along and send fodmap donations. You know, just for security purposes.
I love a good customer dispute.
How does she swim with the scooter?
That’s wrong and disgusting. Not allowed!
Super trout cream.
You’ve started a whole prolapse renaissance. You should be proud.
You’re dead, bitch, so shut the fuck up!
My breasts are moving to the side. They need a-milkin’.
Madge blesses the audience with a couple of literary readings from a nurses forum thread about memorable and touching nursing home encounters. A woman feels the love spreading all over her as she hugs an aging woman in need of love and attention. The warmth spreads even farther as the girls turn to videos from a lover of aromatic white man ejections.
The girls crunch more numbers than a supercomputer in overdrive until they finally get a pregnancy help line to answer. Debra has a list of loaded questions for the helpful lady on the line. Not getting anywhere, the calls turn to firearms. Debra wants a long, pink one.
Eating tuna and tuna by-products through most of the show didn’t satiate Debra’s hunger so the trio calls for takeout. But food isn’t the only hunger Debra needs satisfied.
More memorable fodmap quotes:
Jesus is the main dish?
What’s your T Cell count?
I need a hair lip song.
Just masterbate until it comes on.
Okay what am I doing now?
Is that how you loik it?
Why would it take two men to cum?
What’s she gonna do with an avacado?
The lord lays a heavy burden on Debra’s heart to call a christian restaurant to thank them for sticking with the word of the Lord and supporting Kim Davis. After the call, the girls want to search a few reviews before showing up. They continue the thought by calling a man of the cloth but get his voicemail.
After some begging from Cheryl, The trio resolves to give old, reliable Phil a call. Heather makes her presence known after getting kicked out of her parents’ house. She’s hoping for a spare bed from Phil. But he just wants to BE the bed. Yeah, that’s true.
The girls are STILL hungry so they call the christian restaurant back. Cheryl asks Cheryl about the amenities and desserts. B Y O Alter for a $5 discount.
Feeling dirty and disgusting from tonight’s grum, the girls choose to clean up by calling 1-800-got-junk. K as in Klan. Debra tries to flesh out the details for the sexy sounding Aussie to get a quote for the clean up but she has a meeting with Mayor McMuffin and has to reschedule.
A few fatty videos, a bit of small talk and a failed call to one of Heather’s legion of lovers take front stage as the show nears a close. Debra got a little heated in the lowers with the Aussie’s voice on a previous call so the girls decide it’s time to end the show so she can take a shower and sop up her studio chair with a roll of paper towels and spray bleach. Don’t miss a particle of tonight’s procession of pleasantness and gaiety or the girls will take your beef cream away!