A new YEAST with Cheryl Merkowski, Debra Wilkerson, and Madge Weinstein. Look forward to show notes soons!NO NO NO NO™
SHOW NOTES (by Brine):
The rapid clacking of jewel-toned fingernails fills the air as Bruce Jenner taps phone numbers into his iPhone 6+ (to make his hands look smaller). “Madge! Cheryl! Hi! I’m calling you gals to invite you to my transgender themed soirée at my Malibu waterfront home. I’ve just had it completely redesigned with and eclectic mix of Martha Stewart designs and Oprah’s wonderful kitchenware. I could not get Debra to answer. I just got a quacking voicemail message. So please pass along the invitation.”
Debra and Cheryl grab all of their things to meet up and get ready at Madge’s place since Debra needs to pick up a package that she had shipped there, anyway. She was embarrassed to have it shipped to her own house.
“Thank goodness your palatial home has three full bathrooms,” Debra says with a twinkle in her eye to the trio after arriving at Madge’s place. “I like my privacy. Speaking of privacy, where is my package?”
Debra snatches the package off of the table and half walks half runs to the nearest empty bathroom like those old lady mall walkers in sweats and head bands in the late 80s and early 90s. She rips through the cardboard packaging faster than an ebola medical worker in Liberia opening a package of hazmat gear.
Ripping the clamshell packaging open with her bare teeth, the few real teeth she has left, she pulls out her new adult toy. Unfortunately when she ordered her Ducks Unlimited Spiral Duck Penis sex toy, she did not realize it required a 240 volt wall outlet. Frustrated, she runs outside and steals the battery from Madge’s souped-up golf cart and runs back to the bathroom.
Through a flurry of quacks, squeals, screams and sandpaper-like repetitive sounds that can be heard across Madge’s vast, palatial property, Debra finally satisfies her fowl craving… For now. Madge whispers to Cheryl, “That’s not normal.”
After Debra shoves her new fowl feathered friend into her suitcase-like Michael Kors designer knockoff from Nordstrom, she gets ready for the event. She feels bad for taking so much time with her new toy but she soon discovers that she wasn’t the only one who needed extra time to get ready. She finds Madge helping Cheryl, who is bent over the toilet, with her no!no! Laser hair removal system.
Startled by the door swinging open, Cheryl clinches and her prolapse pops out. “Oops! A little laser treatment on your prolapse won’t hurt I guess,” Madge says as she jerks the laser gun away from the area and wipes splashed errant prolapse moisture from her face.
All dressed to the nines, the girls managed to make it to the event where they make their rounds introducing themselves and chitchatting with the Kardashian elite. Madge, wanting to impress the crowd, decides to bestow her clairvoyant abilities upon everyone.
Not failing to mention multiple times that her abilities were featured in the movie, Days Of Future Past, now on Blu-ray, Madge predicts some not-so-shocking events including Tim Cook coming out of the closet and the Pope revealing that he is the actual antichrist.
Sufficiently enthralling the crowd with her accurate predictions, Madge feels accomplished with her days work in promoting herself. Unfortunately that is short-lived when Cheryl and Madge realize the crowds attention has turned to ghostly sounds of sensual quacking and moaning.
Immediately realizing what is going on, Cheryl races around trying to find Debra and her new toy to put a stop to the embarrassment. Madge runs up to Cheryl holding Debra’s found purse open revealing the duck toy. But there is no sign of Debra anywhere.
The sounds multiply as now there are many simultaneous sensual sounds of quacks and honks. Cheryl and Madge look at each other as they both realize that they saw a duck pond just outside the back patio earlier.
Feathers fly everywhere as a crowd gathers around Debra and her minion of foul fowl. The crowd’s clothes come off as bodies wriggle on the ground in the aftermath of Debra’s latest compulsion.
Madge and Sheryl can be seen running out the front door as Bruce Jenner yells after them to come back and join the duck fun! “I guess we are having duck for dinner,” Bruce snorts as he ties his hair back and dives in teeth first with a look of ravenous hunger and his eyes.