I love the Tori Anus and her fucked up chamber pop music and retarded, piano-humping persona but like you, Madge, I loathe the whiny, fairy wing wearing, Lilith Fair-esque men and womyn who follow her merely because she’s a rape victim. Luckily, those type of people are a minority in her cult of fans, but they’re loud and deranged and fucking irritating.

Wait, what was that little snippet of the punk band Usami played before Bach? Was it Joy Division? I have that track somewhere on my computer but I can’t remember.

oh my god madge i love u so much i can not fucking stand it…it was like listening to my mutha read my poetry…orgasmically hilarious. AHAHAHA. that poetry sucks out loud…its page poetry…but YOU make it sound brilliant…you started “free, fall” over 3x just like tommy bottoms in vegas! BWAHAHAHAHA. and then “learning how and why” with dog barks in the background. CLASSIC. i will treasure this as one of the most classic moments ever. PLEASE send me the snippet of just that section and i will post it on my myspace as one of my tracks. BEST EVER. you are the matzo ball of the sea!

Madge:

Nice conversation with you and your lovely she-pals. Anyhoo, I happened to think of an argument for those who love to throw God into the conversation. Let’s fight God with God.

First the God folks have a saying, “the lord works in mysterious ways.” Of course, these people have to understand this “mysterious way” – and then it can be mysterious to everyone else. So here’s a mysterious way these idiots can understand:

The ills of the world are not being brought upon us because God is upset about the gays coming out of the closet, instead, the gays coming out of the closet is a God’s way to solve one of the world’s ills: OVER POPULATION! Gays have a much lower procreation rate AND if they are allowed to marry and/or adopt children, they actually take care of two issues at once.

See how they chew on that.

…and sorry about upsetting your dogs. They probably smelled my cats.

awesome show today madge…

I mean awesome show TURDAY madge

I need to see a picture of Cheryl Merkowski

Oh NO YOU DON’T!! Haven’t you heard the legend of Medusa?

Trotsky’s bark sounds just like my aunt Elaine…

Thanks for that rudeness whore. You know I am pretturd… you are just threatened by my beauty. You wish you were this skinny– Check your fat attiturd at the door, hooooneeey! I can smell your sobese self-cuntjuiceness… and it makes me gag.

Yes I know it kills hooneeey… that is why I do it. Damn babies… no way to survive my smokey womb baby

She’s my Yeasty Mama, and she got the Bloated Blues…

Love, Mr Twr

Cheryl, get your tubes tied, you dirty cunt. That’s what I did, and I stopped smoking, and with the money I saved, I can buy both a new lung AND a fancy motel here in Gulf Shores, AL, complete with snazzy ceiling mirrors.

God, Cheryl, you put the COW in Mercowski.

I am not ash-amed of being a skinny cow hoooneey. And I don’t want to get my tubes tied because, as a young woman, I might want to keep one of my babies one of these days. It is a good thing that you can’t have babies anymore. Too bad they couldn’t tie up your vocal cords hoooneeey. Eat these hot prolapses… cumon sisturd… eat them!

Hooray for rape, honey.

Nothing betturd than a bowl of hot prolapse slathered in mayo and peanuts butter… a silky treat.

from where does the “Dave Clabturdbank mash-up” final monologue come?